Why Should I Pursue Wholeness?

 

 

 

• Are you happy and content with your life as you know it?  

•  Do you know why you are here on earth?

•  Have you found out what is God’s plan, purpose, and destiny for your life?

•  And if you are already living your whole life, are you willing to instruct others how to get there?

•  What strategies did you use to obtain wholeness?

 

  I believe that living your best life is living life with intent and purpose. We human beings are flawed and broken, but we can become works in progress as long as we are willing to improve. This will take developing a strategy that will lift you out of the mediocre into a quality of higher-level living. That’s living the whole life.

Now if you are one of those people who are content with your life, I think that’s great. If your family is good, you have a good job, and you can afford to live a comfortable, healthy life. That’s a real blessing. 

But if there is something deep down in your heart that yearns for more and questions your existence here on earth,  it’s time for some self-examination. 

 

 

Your presence here on earth is not by accident, you are here by a carefully calculated process designed by God. He loves you so much and He wants you to experience life on this earth. He also desires that you seek Him concerning His plan and purpose for your life. It's a process that will yield much fruit in every area of your life. It will not only be a benefit and blessing to your life but others as well. This is what becoming whole is all about. As you do the work of processing, healing, and readjusting your life, you’ll be able to help others as well.

 

You Are Being Watched

 

The Bible says that we are living epistles to be read of men. 2 Corinthians 3:2. Whether we like it or not, people watch us and check how we carry ourselves. Our interactions with people reflect who we really are. I had a co-worker tell me that I give them so much hope. It made me wonder what have I done to make a mark on her life like that. It’s not that I’m all that but it’s who I live for. I was happy to know that God had used me as a conduit to touch her heart. I believe in being a real person whether you’re at home, work, the store, or church.

 

 

Reasons You Should Pursue Wholeness

 

 ·         To Bring Glory to God (Have a good testimony before Him)

·         To be a good example for others to follow

·         To live a balance stable life

·         To be able to face life’s challenges in a healthy way

·         To respond, not react

·         When you know better, you’ll do better

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Physical Effects of Grief

 

Our human make up is comprised of interconnected systems and elements that are not limited to just our physical body. Our creator in His infinite wisdom has designed us as three-part beings; spirit, soul, and body. We were calculated to function most effectively when we are balance, but one defect or imbalance will throw us into a state of shock. That’s what happens when our life is affected by grief.

The Effects of Grief in the Mind and Body

Feelings of sadness and emotional breakdown takes a toll on our entire being. Our mental state will go through a myriad of issues because of the thought of living life without your loved one. Depending upon the circumstances surrounding the death we may be faced with feelings of sadness, depression, anger or guilt, and possibly fear. We may question whether we could have done more to prevent the loss. We are sometimes plagued with ruminating thoughts that may keep us up at night or give way to anxiety. Some may go through grief for an extended period of time. This is called complicated grief. This is a chronic reaction to grief that may bring thoughts of suicide. In this case it is imperative to seek counseling to process your feelings in a healthy and effective way.

Why Does This Hurt So Much?

 Going through this period of processing our emotions, our bodies are struggling to maintain balance as well. As a result, stress hormones are released by the body as a response to this imbalance.  Some examples of these stress related issues are:

Extreme Tiredness and Chronic Fatigue

Headaches

Digestive Issues

General Body Aches and Pains

Possible High Blood Pressure and Heart Issues

These symptoms can last for days or months, and sometimes people may go through these issues for years depending on their ability to cope. Therefore, we need to give ourselves permission, time, and space to grieve and mourn over loss. In my next post, How to Cope With Grief, One Day at a Time I will give you tools and ways to cope with your loss, that will bring about healing and the ability to move forward.

 

 

 

How to Cope with Grief One Day at a Time

 

You owe it to yourself to grieve in you own way. Give yourself permission to process your feelings and emotions. Keep in mind that it will take time, but during that time of transition be intentional about taking care of yourself. It does not dishonor your loved one’s memory when you choose to adjust your life in order to move forward. It will be difficult because you are heartbroken, but after a time of rest and self-examination, try to do one thing for yourself each day. These are some ways that will help to ease you back into a daily routine.

·         Make sure you eat right and supply your body with nourishment.

·         Spend time with other family members to talk about your memories and pain.

·         Take a walk and get fresh air when you can.

·         Meditation is beneficial to relax your body and mind.

·         Comfort yourself by looking through family albums or videos.

·         Seek out grief support groups to give a sense of nurturing and strength.

·         Rely on your faith to give you strength and healing.

 

You Don’t Always Have to Be the Strong One

To those of you who are always the pillar of strength and the “go to” person, it’s time to step back for a while and give the wheel to someone else. Take a stand for yourself and lovingly explain to your family and friends that you are having a difficult time and you need time to regroup. If they don’t understand, you may have to take drastic measures and take a short vacation to breathe and think. You can’t be there for others until you are there for yourself.

Help is Always Available for You

If you feel that you are having difficulty moving forward, having thoughts of suicide, or relying on substance abuse for comfort and coping, reach out for help with a counselor. They will aid you in exploring your feelings and help you to process through your grief.

 

 

 

 

Managing Life Through a Season of Grief

 

At some time in our lives, we will all experience some type of loss. In this post and in the ones to follow, we will be dealing with the loss of a loved one through bereavement. This loss leaves a void in our hearts and souls that cannot be prepared for.  Navigating life through the anguish of grief can be a very daunting ordeal that not only affects our mental and emotional state, but our physical well-being as well. It is the response that results from the trauma of that loss.

Seasons of grief will take us through periods of mourning, which is the outward manifestation of internal brokenness. The ebbs and flows of grief and mourning will range from sorrow, sadness, and guilt to possible anger and anxiousness. It can depend on the depth of the relationship and the circumstances surrounding their death.  Because grief is an individual experience, there is no certain way to grieve, and no set time frame.

The best way to deal with grief is to go through the process. Trying to ignore your feelings and pretending you’re okay will only prolong the process and cause your emotions to manifest in unusual ways and times, such as sudden outbursts.  It can also progress from sadness to depression if not dealt with. It can also take a toll on your physical state by raising your blood pressure. 

So, you see it is imperative that we go through the grieving and mourning in a healthful way. With time and being kind and gentle with yourself you will get through this.  Be mindful that as you heal, you will start to experience life in a new reality while cherishing your loved one’s memory. My hope and prayer for all of us is that we will give ourselves permission to feel and to heal as we move forward into the new normal of life.

 

 

What is Wholeness All About?

 

We human beings are made up of three parts: spirit, soul, and body. We are spirit, we possess a soul, and live in a physical body.  All these parts of ourselves are interrelated and function together as a whole. What affects one part of our being  will directly affect the other, whether in a positive or negative way.

Before I go into what wholeness means to me, let’s get into the definition of wholeness. Merriam Webster terms wholeness as the condition of being sound in body. The quality or state of being without restriction, exception or qualification. The Free Dictionary defines wholeness as containing all components, complete, not divided or disjoined. In the physical sense, it’s defined as not wounded, injured, or impaired; sound or unhurt. It’s also a state of having been restored, healed.

As you read through these definitions, what comes to your mind regarding wholeness? Does it seem to be an unattainable reality?

Well let me put your mind at ease. Wholeness has nothing to do with perfection. It’s a lifelong pursuit of balance in your spirit, soul, and body. It is bringing your whole self into balance and alignment through healing and restoration.

 

What Does Wholeness Mean to Me?

 

When I think of wholeness, a pie comes to mind. (Ok, so now you know I’m a fan of sweets…)  A pie is a whole unit, but it didn’t start out that way. From the crust to the filling, they all were separate ingredients. Once these ingredients go through a process of being measured, combined, and baked, these separate ingredients become one cohesive unit,  a delicious mouthwatering pie. That’s the process of becoming whole. It’s taking the fragmented areas of our lives through a progression of self-examination and personal growth in order to heal and become a better more vital you.

Before we can pursue wholeness with intention, we must acknowledge the truth about ourselves- the good, bad, and the ugly. Once you’ve begun to acknowledge the areas of your life that need to be improved, you will need to set daily goals and implement a daily strategy to achieve those goals. This can be developed through prayer, journaling, going through therapy, or talking to a trusted friend.

 Everyone is different and no one’s pursuit of healing to wholeness is the same. It is a work in progress for anyone who dares to break out of the norms of life and choose to approach life with a different mindset. It’s a matter of wanting to become your best self in order to live out your best life, not a perfect life, but your best life.

 

 

 

 

 

How to Keep Writing When Life Happens

 What do you do when you've got your writing world all planned out.  Your blogging and social media boards and schedules are all laid out, outlines for all future blog posts are finished, you've even started your outline for your book project. Then all of a sudden the drama and crisis of life sets in. Being the quiet storm that I am, I just want to give the trials of life a swift kick in the "you know what", but alas, no matter how hard I kick, the realization that I have to deal with life issues sets in.

Right before Thanksgiving 2019, my mom fell. Even though she's had issues with falling as long as I've been in the world, this time I knew this was different. As a result, I moved her into our home. After the doctor visits, a hospital stay, (for observation), and turning our house over to home health nurses, physical therapist, and social workers, I was done. Oh yeah, did I mention all of the mental and emotional stress and adjustments my hubby and I had to endure? Thank God for blessing me with a prayer life. God is good!

The first couple of weeks were touch and go for all of us, but by God's grace, we made it over and have settled into somewhat of a routine. Since I'm all about self care, I carved out some time just for me. I make sure each night, once the house settles down, I have my journaling and devotional time with the Lord. My journaling usually consists of the events of the day, and pouring out all of my feelings. Getting it all out on paper is not only cathartic, but it keeps my writing juices flowing as well.

We are still taking it a day at a time. I will keep you all posted as I start back on my book projects and will continue to post content to teach, inspire, and encourage you as I encourage myself in the Lord.

 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31 KJV

• Make sure you make "God and me time" a priority
  1 Thessalonians 5:17-18 Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
• Try to do some writing each day to keep those juices flowing
• Set aside time to read and expand your mind

New Year New Mindset

New Year New Mindset

Are You Willing to Change Your Focus?

Now that we've crossed over into the New Year, have you started to gear yourself up with new beginnings, resolutions, and strategies to be and do better. How's it been working for you so far? For me it's been iffy, but sue me, I'm human. If you're anything like me, I'll start out with good intentions. Somehow by  February, all of my intentions and efforts start to fizzle and wane.

Matthew 26:41 states: Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Unfortunately we start to make excuses for our lack of focus and willpower, then make friends with compromise to justify our feelings of guilt and frustration.

Have you been through this? I know I have many times. That's why I stopped doing resolutions years ago. My reasoning is if I start a resolution I'm just setting myself up for failure. Through careful self-examination, (sheer desperation for real ya'll), I began to find out why I started sabotaging my efforts. When the light came on, I discovered my focus on past failures stalled any goals I set for future success. So I had to make the choice to redirect my focus. Redirection will give you a new point of view that will grow into a new mindset. Different mindset = Different results.

So how do we start?

RESEARCH AND KNOWLEDGE GATHERING

Proverbs 24: 3-4 Through wisdom a house is built, And by understanding it is established; By knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.

You know, as the saying goes, Knowledge is Power. And knowing how to apply that knowledge is wisdom. I began to research new strategies and techniques to accomplish my goals. I began to gather the tools and even some shortcuts to make accomplishing my goals easier. This helped me to stay focused on the results I desired.

WRITE YOUR GOALS AND DREAMS DOWN

Habakkuk 2:2b Write the vision and mke it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it.

The best tool that I've used for goal setting is writing them down. Make it fun and interesting for yourself by getting a beautiful notebook or journal just for your goals. Set aside a special time and make it all about you. Don't rush yourself, really think about and meditate on what areas of your life that need improvement. The system that I've adopted is: Write your goals, fill in the desired results for each of those goals, then start at the beginning with small daily steps.

STAY FOCUSED ON ONE GOAL AT A TIME

 James 1:8 A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. 

Are you one of  those people that dive in, all or nothing? When we try and do too many things at once, it only causes chaos, confusion, and frustration. List your goals in order of importance to you. Then just like a skilled contractor, build upon your foundation with careful precision. If you happen to veer off course, don't beat yourself up, take your time and get back on course.

TAKE IT A DAY AT A TIME AND JOURNAL YOUR RESULTS

Matthew 6:34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the tings of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

Remember to take it slow. this is a process of moving forward and gaining ground. Everyday is a step to a better and greater you. Celebrate each milestone and keep going. Before you know it, you'll be reach your goal successfully. Be mindful that success does not just happen when you meet your goal, it happens when you start the process. It makes me think of that famous quote: A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

Zechariah 4: 10 Who [with reason] despises the day of small things (beginnings)?