How To Steward Your Relationships

 

How to Steward Your Relationships
Without Losing Yourself
 

With all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:23 KJV

 

Whether it’s marriage, friendships, being a co-worker or acquaintance, it will be to your advantage if you put your relationships in God’s Hands. He will teach you how to be a better person with a strong character. Our feelings can sometimes hinder us, because we all have differing points of view and levels of maturity. When we butt heads with our loved ones or associates, we allow our egos to get the best of us and steer our relationships off course. Arguments are all about who will prevail in getting their point across. Even if we are right, we still deal with the sting of how we feel after a disagreement.

 

In order to manage and maintain good relationships, we have to crucify our egos, that’s our flesh nature, in order to do it. We must be willing to forgive, walk away, and agree to disagree. That’s okay, because even in that, it’s a resolution.

 

 

Let Love Prevail

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself; is not puffed up. I Corinthians 13:4   

Love is the foundation of good relationships. Loving is sharing and caring. When we walk in love, we are imitating Christ’s love for us. He loved us so deeply that He laid His life down for us. We are to pattern our lives after Christ’s example and lifestyle of loving. In order to manage our relationships in love, we must choose to lay down our opinions and pride and allow understanding and compassion to be the cornerstone of relating to others. I’m not saying you must be a doormat and let people walk all over you, that’s where setting healthy boundaries comes in.  Love prevails when you allow others to feel like they matter. Being a forgiving person and using diplomacy in relationships will save you from distressing situations and will keep harmony and peace.

How to Manage Relationships by Setting Boundaries
Set boundaries, Save Yourself

Boundaries are a very valuable and necessary tool in relationships. Without them, you’ll open yourself up to possibly being manipulated and taken advantage of. Unfortunately, everyone may not be mature enough to handle love on love’s terms. And some people may not be aware that they are stretching the limits. Use godly discernment to gauge who to deal with and how much to open yourself up.

 

There’s Balance in Boundaries

If you are a person who loves hard, wanting to be your best to be a good friend, save yourself by setting healthy boundaries. This will protect you from being victimized by predators. Know when to be open and generous, and when to say no. You don’t have to be everything to everyone. There is nothing wrong with perfecting the art of saying no. It will teach others to take responsibility for themselves and release you from feeling obligated to be their savior.

Ask God to give you discernment so that you won’t be victimized by people with unrealistic expectations. Love yourself enough to establish boundaries. You owe no one anything but to love them, even if you have to leave them alone.

 

A Real Life Lesson

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. Proverbs 4:23

I have a friend who had to learn a hard lesson about neglecting to set boundaries in her life. She’s a very loving and caring person who would sometimes go out of her way to do anything for anyone.  Family and friends’ expectations of her caused her undue burdens, and as a result, she stretched herself to the point where it affected her health. She started losing herself trying to save others.

 We began to have conversations about how to get her relief. It took some time, but she learned how to set limits on her time, attention, and money. My friend had to process through feeling guilty for saying no. She realized that instead of helping others she was crippling them and burdening herself. Today she has gotten so much better with establishing healthy boundaries. This had resulted in her being less burdened and has turned her health around.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's Coming....

Phillipians 4:6
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God,
and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Yes the holidays are coming.  To some the thought of this causes you to respond with delight at the coming prospect of pumpkin spice aroma and warm kitchens full of culinary delights.  Or you may be like me walking around with a sense of anxious dread mulling over thoughts of whom should we invite over.  Maybe we should go over a relative or close friend's house where we have a standing invite. 
Then there's the menu--should I cook the traditional fare or try something different?  Oh my, too many choices and decisions.  Just thinking about it even at this early makes makes me cringe, just a little.  Yikes! 
I'm determined to approach this holiday season with a different mindset.  As I thought about last year, I remembered having a quiet Thanksgiving and Christmas.  It was just our small group, but it was relaxing.  I've been thinking about inviting other family members, but I'm a proactive person.  I would need at least four months prayer, deep cleaning, and prep time to have true peace of mind. 
As I move forward to the holidays, I've decided to take it a day at a time, and give myself permission to relax, plan wisely, and not stress out about making sure everyone's okay and having a good time.  I will focus on being thankful and meditating on how God has blessed us and brought us through everything that worked together for our good. (see Romans 8:28)
I'm not sure what our plans are this early in the game, but I know if I keep my focus on God who made it all possible, it keeps me sane, alive, and well.
Got a question, "How will you approach the coming holidays?"