Managing Life Through a Season of Grief

 

At some time in our lives, we will all experience some type of loss. In this post and in the ones to follow, we will be dealing with the loss of a loved one through bereavement. This loss leaves a void in our hearts and souls that cannot be prepared for.  Navigating life through the anguish of grief can be a very daunting ordeal that not only affects our mental and emotional state, but our physical well-being as well. It is the response that results from the trauma of that loss.

Seasons of grief will take us through periods of mourning, which is the outward manifestation of internal brokenness. The ebbs and flows of grief and mourning will range from sorrow, sadness, and guilt to possible anger and anxiousness. It can depend on the depth of the relationship and the circumstances surrounding their death.  Because grief is an individual experience, there is no certain way to grieve, and no set time frame.

The best way to deal with grief is to go through the process. Trying to ignore your feelings and pretending you’re okay will only prolong the process and cause your emotions to manifest in unusual ways and times, such as sudden outbursts.  It can also progress from sadness to depression if not dealt with. It can also take a toll on your physical state by raising your blood pressure. 

So, you see it is imperative that we go through the grieving and mourning in a healthful way. With time and being kind and gentle with yourself you will get through this.  Be mindful that as you heal, you will start to experience life in a new reality while cherishing your loved one’s memory. My hope and prayer for all of us is that we will give ourselves permission to feel and to heal as we move forward into the new normal of life.

 

 

What is Wholeness All About?

 

We human beings are made up of three parts: spirit, soul, and body. We are spirit, we possess a soul, and live in a physical body.  All these parts of ourselves are interrelated and function together as a whole. What affects one part of our being  will directly affect the other, whether in a positive or negative way.

Before I go into what wholeness means to me, let’s get into the definition of wholeness. Merriam Webster terms wholeness as the condition of being sound in body. The quality or state of being without restriction, exception or qualification. The Free Dictionary defines wholeness as containing all components, complete, not divided or disjoined. In the physical sense, it’s defined as not wounded, injured, or impaired; sound or unhurt. It’s also a state of having been restored, healed.

As you read through these definitions, what comes to your mind regarding wholeness? Does it seem to be an unattainable reality?

Well let me put your mind at ease. Wholeness has nothing to do with perfection. It’s a lifelong pursuit of balance in your spirit, soul, and body. It is bringing your whole self into balance and alignment through healing and restoration.

 

What Does Wholeness Mean to Me?

 

When I think of wholeness, a pie comes to mind. (Ok, so now you know I’m a fan of sweets…)  A pie is a whole unit, but it didn’t start out that way. From the crust to the filling, they all were separate ingredients. Once these ingredients go through a process of being measured, combined, and baked, these separate ingredients become one cohesive unit,  a delicious mouthwatering pie. That’s the process of becoming whole. It’s taking the fragmented areas of our lives through a progression of self-examination and personal growth in order to heal and become a better more vital you.

Before we can pursue wholeness with intention, we must acknowledge the truth about ourselves- the good, bad, and the ugly. Once you’ve begun to acknowledge the areas of your life that need to be improved, you will need to set daily goals and implement a daily strategy to achieve those goals. This can be developed through prayer, journaling, going through therapy, or talking to a trusted friend.

 Everyone is different and no one’s pursuit of healing to wholeness is the same. It is a work in progress for anyone who dares to break out of the norms of life and choose to approach life with a different mindset. It’s a matter of wanting to become your best self in order to live out your best life, not a perfect life, but your best life.

 

 

 

 

 

How to Keep Writing When Life Happens

 What do you do when you've got your writing world all planned out.  Your blogging and social media boards and schedules are all laid out, outlines for all future blog posts are finished, you've even started your outline for your book project. Then all of a sudden the drama and crisis of life sets in. Being the quiet storm that I am, I just want to give the trials of life a swift kick in the "you know what", but alas, no matter how hard I kick, the realization that I have to deal with life issues sets in.

Right before Thanksgiving 2019, my mom fell. Even though she's had issues with falling as long as I've been in the world, this time I knew this was different. As a result, I moved her into our home. After the doctor visits, a hospital stay, (for observation), and turning our house over to home health nurses, physical therapist, and social workers, I was done. Oh yeah, did I mention all of the mental and emotional stress and adjustments my hubby and I had to endure? Thank God for blessing me with a prayer life. God is good!

The first couple of weeks were touch and go for all of us, but by God's grace, we made it over and have settled into somewhat of a routine. Since I'm all about self care, I carved out some time just for me. I make sure each night, once the house settles down, I have my journaling and devotional time with the Lord. My journaling usually consists of the events of the day, and pouring out all of my feelings. Getting it all out on paper is not only cathartic, but it keeps my writing juices flowing as well.

We are still taking it a day at a time. I will keep you all posted as I start back on my book projects and will continue to post content to teach, inspire, and encourage you as I encourage myself in the Lord.

 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31 KJV

• Make sure you make "God and me time" a priority
  1 Thessalonians 5:17-18 Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
• Try to do some writing each day to keep those juices flowing
• Set aside time to read and expand your mind

New Year New Mindset

New Year New Mindset

Are You Willing to Change Your Focus?

Now that we've crossed over into the New Year, have you started to gear yourself up with new beginnings, resolutions, and strategies to be and do better. How's it been working for you so far? For me it's been iffy, but sue me, I'm human. If you're anything like me, I'll start out with good intentions. Somehow by  February, all of my intentions and efforts start to fizzle and wane.

Matthew 26:41 states: Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Unfortunately we start to make excuses for our lack of focus and willpower, then make friends with compromise to justify our feelings of guilt and frustration.

Have you been through this? I know I have many times. That's why I stopped doing resolutions years ago. My reasoning is if I start a resolution I'm just setting myself up for failure. Through careful self-examination, (sheer desperation for real ya'll), I began to find out why I started sabotaging my efforts. When the light came on, I discovered my focus on past failures stalled any goals I set for future success. So I had to make the choice to redirect my focus. Redirection will give you a new point of view that will grow into a new mindset. Different mindset = Different results.

So how do we start?

RESEARCH AND KNOWLEDGE GATHERING

Proverbs 24: 3-4 Through wisdom a house is built, And by understanding it is established; By knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.

You know, as the saying goes, Knowledge is Power. And knowing how to apply that knowledge is wisdom. I began to research new strategies and techniques to accomplish my goals. I began to gather the tools and even some shortcuts to make accomplishing my goals easier. This helped me to stay focused on the results I desired.

WRITE YOUR GOALS AND DREAMS DOWN

Habakkuk 2:2b Write the vision and mke it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it.

The best tool that I've used for goal setting is writing them down. Make it fun and interesting for yourself by getting a beautiful notebook or journal just for your goals. Set aside a special time and make it all about you. Don't rush yourself, really think about and meditate on what areas of your life that need improvement. The system that I've adopted is: Write your goals, fill in the desired results for each of those goals, then start at the beginning with small daily steps.

STAY FOCUSED ON ONE GOAL AT A TIME

 James 1:8 A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. 

Are you one of  those people that dive in, all or nothing? When we try and do too many things at once, it only causes chaos, confusion, and frustration. List your goals in order of importance to you. Then just like a skilled contractor, build upon your foundation with careful precision. If you happen to veer off course, don't beat yourself up, take your time and get back on course.

TAKE IT A DAY AT A TIME AND JOURNAL YOUR RESULTS

Matthew 6:34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the tings of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

Remember to take it slow. this is a process of moving forward and gaining ground. Everyday is a step to a better and greater you. Celebrate each milestone and keep going. Before you know it, you'll be reach your goal successfully. Be mindful that success does not just happen when you meet your goal, it happens when you start the process. It makes me think of that famous quote: A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

Zechariah 4: 10 Who [with reason] despises the day of small things (beginnings)?

Thanks for Caregiving

Matthew 5:13a - 14 Ye are the salt of the earth. Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.

This post is dedicated to all caregivers. Whether you care for a special needs person in your family, an elderly member, or if it's your profession, being a caregiver is a very special calling. I watched my mom walk in this calling numerous times when she helped her sister take care of mama cindy (my grandmother). Years later she took care of my dad. She also worked for years as a professional caregiver and built a great reputation of loving and caring for others. Now I have the awesome priviledge of taking care of her.

Sometimes I go through a little guilt because I have to work a full time job, but I'm thankful that God blessed us with a great lady who comes in to clean and care for my mom. My husband is also a great help to momma when I'm unable to be there. I had to learn to let go and let others come in to aid me when life happens.

This leads me to this point: as much as we love the ones we are caring for, we must not forget to care for ourselves. If we don't get our proper rest, relaxation, and recreation, we experience burnout and frustration. Proper self care is tantamount to a balanced life and a  heathly and whole well being. Remember we will not be able to be our best for others if we are unwilling to invest in ourselves. Here are just a few self care tips to start you on a pathway to a balanced life free of burnout.

· Contact an agency to find out about their respite care services. You need whole self care. You can't be your best for the people in your care, in other relationships, and other areas of your life without checking in with yourself.

· Keep a journal. It's cathartic to pour out your heart and soul on paper.

· Have a day out with friends.

· If you can, get a day spa treatment or a deep tissue massage.

· Find a good support group.

Father God:
We thank you for the blessing of caregivers. I ask that you will give them a double portion of strength in their spirits, souls, and bodies. Thank you Lord for blessing them not to want for any good thing. In Jesus Name. Amen.

Meditation on Moderation

                                                                        Philippians 4:5

                             Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.

                                                         
As we continue our meditation on Philippians 4, let's aim our focus on verse 5.  The word that jumps out at me is moderation. I always think of moderation when I'm trying to diet, you know the whole cutting back on sweets, bread, and junk food, thing?  No fun, huh? That's what our everyday usage of the word entails--restraint or temperance. It's choosing to be disciplined in order to attain a goal or reap a benefit. Whether it's budgeting to buy a house, or embarking upon a new exercise and diet routine, moderation opens the door to achieve that goal.

In the Strong's Greek dictionary, moderation is known as being gentle, mild, forbearing (patient and restrained), fair, reasonable, and moderate. Wow! This takes it a step further from not just being disciplined, but also our attitude while being disciplined.

So what is Paul telling us in this passage? To walk in a spirit of meekness. I like to think of it as "grace under pressure". This is Christlike character and conduct. Our character is a reflection of motives and morals, our ways and means of living our lives and dealing with people and situations. The more we live a life surrendered to God and His Word, His Character is formed within us. He gives us His ability to not only do right, but to be right, from the inside, out. This enables us to be the salt and light disciples to a culture that is yearning for the manifestation of the sons of God. Romans 8:19


Heavenly Father:

Lord I thank you for your long suffering towards us. As we go through the progression of moderation, help us to be mindful that it's Christ in us, the hope of glory, that will enable us to walk in godly character, good reputations, and examples in righteousness. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Rejoicing Resets Your Life

I've been meditating on Philippians 4:4-8. I've gathered three principles from this passage of scripture: how to conduct ourselves in our Christian walk; how to walk in God's peace and well being, as we go through trials; and spiritual keys that open the door to answered prayer.

In Paul's ending in his letter to the Philippians believers, he left them with instructions that gave them power for living a Christian reality. First he points out the importance of rejoicing in the Lord, not once but twice. To rejoice means to be glad and take delight. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4 NKJV Praising God raises us up from the depths of despair to the heights of God's victory. The joy of the Lord is my strength. Nehemiah 8:10 KJV  Giving God praise changes our focus. The more you rest you gaze upon Him, His bigness, His majesty, your circumstances will seem to diminish. Through praise and worship God will give you His revelation and His wise counsel to manage life situations in peace and not in panic. Why? Because you are choosing to humble yourself before the Alpha and Omega, the One who knows all things and makes all things possible. Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto you own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

Father, I thank you for the gift of praising and rejoicing in Your Presence and Your Precepts. Help us to daily keep you on our minds and to see life through Your vision. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Key Thought:  How are you treating life? How do you react when you encounter something negatve? Refocusing your perception of circumstances by engaging in praise and worship to God will change your vision and reset your life.